Sunday, July 3, 2016

Ramadhan Thoughts:Allah knows.

Assalamualaikum and hi.

Have you ever got that feeling--
when you wish you can be that person standing in prayer besides you;as he/she weeps understanding and reflecting upon those beautifully recited verses,while you,on the other side are more closely to weep because the imam's recitation is just way too long.

Have you ever got that feeling--
when every single words that you recite from the Quran doesn't make you feel anything,at all.Those verses feels merely just words,not more than that.

Have you ever got that feeling--
when hearing your friends talk about how exhilarating Ramadhan is for them became so frustrating;because Ramadan for you doesn't change your spirituality just that much.Its all about fasting;and that's all.

And you start asking,what is the point of all of it.Your actions are robotic.Monotone;without soul.

You wish you could be like that person praying next to you in taraweeh who sobs during every prostration. You want to be the one passionately pleading with Allahsubhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He) with humility. Your hope is that you can be that person whose heart is broken before God.
You know what, though? You, too, are special to Allah (swt).

You who pray because Allah commanded you to do so.

You who recite Quran because you know its good for you.

You who wake up in 1/3 of the night;hoping that somehow it can give you strength (eventhough sometimes it doens't feel so)

Allah knows how you feel.Allah knows that you are struggling.Your actions are not going to be wasted.

Allah knows the struggle you are facing,just to please Him.He counts,every single of them.

Because you are not worshipping a feeling.You are worshipping the One who is Just,Merciful,Appreciative,Forgiving God--who can give life to everything that is dead.

Including your heart.

You know you have a Patient,Nurturing,Generous,Subtle and Kind God--who can bring back anything that is lost.

He can bring you back.

So do not give up just yet.Your heart is on its journey,in finding way to the One who created it.You are first and foremost;striving to please your Lord.And He has promised;

“And those who strive for Us – We will surely guide them to Our ways. And indeed, Allah is with the doers of good.” (Qur’an, 29:69)

As long as you are doing good,know that He is with you and guiding you every steps of the way.

So keep trekking. Your heart will open – He is, after all, al-Fattah. Al-Fattah is He who opens whatever is closed; your heart included. You might wonder when and how, but just know that itwill happen. It could be on the last night of Ramadan or it could be a month after Ramadan – your heart will open, God willing. 
And if it gets too much, just talk to Allah (swt). Tell Him how you feel, and tell Him how you want to feel. Do it every night, and every time you feel empty. God is there; never underestimate your turning to Him. ‘Turning to Him’ does not just mean prayers and supplications; you can just tell Him what is in your heart.
On the Day of Judgment, you will be grateful for your perseverance and your hope in Him, because it will matter more than you will ever know. So push yourself and exert all the effort you can muster. The tiniest ray of light can brighten the darkest of places.
May Allah give us the strength to give all we can in doing ibadah,in these two remaining days,InsyaAllah.May we all end this beautiful month with our sins forgiven,returning to our fitrah which is clean from all the sins.
A fellow heart that is* numb

syukran jazilan kathiran=))

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